This quote shows that John Proctor is guilty for having an affair and that he is worried that his mistake will stay with him for eternally. John Proctor says this as he is feeling guilty about having an affair with Abigail, “But I’ll plead no more! I see how your spirit twists around the single error of my life, and I will never tear it free”. As the court officials lead him to the gallows, he finds peace for the first time in the play.The beginning of the play, John Proctor is not presented as a good man, he is portrayed as weak and unfaithful. This realization, along with Elizabeth's forgiveness, enables Proctor to forgive himself and finally regain his good name and self-respect. Although he wants to live, escaping death is not worth basing the remainder of his life on a lie. Proctor knows that he will damn himself, yet again, if he agrees to confess. This action further exemplifies Proctor's integrity. At the end of the play, Proctor refuses to slander himself by allowing the court to nail his false confession to the church door.
Only through his public acknowledgment of the affair does Proctor regain his wife's trust. He willingly sacrifices his good name in order to protect his wife. Proctor's decision to tell the court about his affair ironically demonstrates his goodness. Proctor believes a public display of his wrongdoing only intensifies the extent of his sin, thereby multiplying his guilt. He dreads revealing his sin because guilt and regret already overwhelm him. Once he acknowledges his affair with Abigail, Proctor effectively brands himself an adulterer and loses his good name. His best possession is his good name and the respect and integrity associated with it. In addition to struggling with the weight of his sin, the fact that he must reveal his transgression torments Proctor. In fact, his own inability to forgive himself merely intensifies his reaction to Elizabeth's lack of forgiveness. He resents Elizabeth because she cannot forgive him and trust him again, but he is guilty of the same thing.
Unsurprisingly, his relationship with Elizabeth remains strained throughout the majority of the play. True, Proctor did succumb to sin and commit adultery however, he lacks the capacity to forgive himself. He believes his affair with Abigail irreparably damaged him in the eyes of God, his wife Elizabeth, and himself.
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